According to the 2022 Bridebook survey of 5500 couples, 10% said the biggest challenge they faced was not knowing how to manage their RSVP's and guest list, and we tend to agree. Many of our couples struggle with 'the fear', the fear of not inviting your second cousin once removed, the fear of upsetting your granny by not inviting her best friend from bingo club or even worse, the dreaded fear of uninviting someone.
Now, we think there is a pretty simple method to ensuring you have the right people at your wedding and we're not talking about writing names on scrap paper and pulling them out of a hat. Of course there are certain people that would be invited traditionally, but let us stop you right there. In the famous words of Marie Kondo, ask yourself if this person 'sparks joy' in yours or your partners life? If not... erm, why are they currently sat next to Uncle Joe on your table plan?
I know, I know, it's not as easy as that Lois. I get it.. you're talking to the girl who went from 30 to 150 guests, back down to 11 throughout the pandemic but let's just work through this step by step. Grab yourself a cuppa (or some bubbles.. always bubbles!), and let's go..
1. Create groups of family members and friends from both sides, starting with those who you are closest to.
2. If your wedding budget and venue allow you to invite everyone, awesome! Job done - you're welcome. But let's be real for a minute, it is more likely that you will only be able to accommodate some of these groups so how do you cut those down? Read on..
3. This one is a bit more controversial but hey, we're not only here for straightforward and easy. Create groups within the groups or 'waves' as I called them at my wedding. Almost like when a big event or concert releases the best seats first. This way, if people on your, "OMG you absolutely have to be there" list can't make it, you can start inviting people from your, "We'd love to have you" list. But never, and we mean never, invite people from your, "Our day will be hell with you there" list - come on, an empty seat is better than the potential drama, and anxiety caused by an old work colleague who is likely to declare their undying love for you at any given moment!
We understand that everyone's family and friends are unique in their own way, and we love that. We believe that your happiness should always come first when you think about wedding invitations. Surround yourself with people who spark joy - regardless of where they sit on your family or friendship list.
4. For those who want to be more traditional, keep reading for examples of guest groups.
Immediate family members
Parents, grannys and gramps, brothers and sisters and depending on how friendly you are, their partners.
Wedding party members
Your wedding party, however this looks - bridesmaids, groomsgirls, flowerboys - we've seen it all. This is your closest group who all hold a special role on your day.
Extended family
This is definitely the trickiest part - we always hear 'I want x to come, but then we'll have to invite y'. Inevitably this is the group that has the most amount of family drama, tension and disagreement but try to remember this is about you as a couple - you can always explain you're limited on space!
Friends
These are your childhood friends, school friends, family friends, work friends, met you on a night out friends. Any friend you can't imagine not having there goes on this list.
Religious or interest groups
Part of the local neighbourhood watch? Book *wine* club? Your gym buddies - they all go into this group
Casual friends and colleagues
Planning on a festival sized wedding? Amazing! Invite them all.. but remember this group can be invited in wave 2 or 3 of your wedding day ticket release!
The last two groups are where most people usually have a fairly set idea on if they want to have them or not; Kids and +1's. All we'd say is if you say no kids, stick to it. Others will get wind of you letting Suzi's daughter come along and the requests will just keep rolling in.